Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#1715 - 04/24/13 08:01 PM Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals?
Soapy Offline


Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 433
Loc: USA,USA
Is it a bad idea?

I'm thinking that they dynamic necessary to be friends would get washed away with the dynamic of a domme and her sub and that a professional/client arrangement could also stress a friendship.

It doesn't seem worth it if you live in a metropolitan area as you could always find someone to pay to spank you ( or anything else ) but friends are harder to come by.

On the other hand, if those probelms could be dealt with it seems like being friends could enhance the play.

Thoughts?
_________________________
"Violent opining on a bdsm board has solved surprisingly few geopolitical issues."

- Ms. Regan Black

Top
#1716 - 04/24/13 09:08 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professional [Re: Soapy]
Ms Regan Black Offline
www.MsReganBlack.com


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 819
Loc: New York City / Buffalo
Hi, Soapy-

Might move this to B&D board, but, in the meantime, this is an interesting question.

There are so many variants of bdsm relationships that there is no one answer.
-I like all my subs and clients, yet do not necessarily consider them all 'friends'.
-I became friends with some of my subs and clients, which makes our relatioships better. Am extremely close with very select persons.
-I have friends in the scene with whom I will not session, as it would change our friendship or I like our current relationship as it is and do not want to change it.
-I have scene friends who I have seen / do see for session, as it happens to enhance our relationship. Our scenes together are so enjoyable because we share more than just a kink or two.
(FWIW, I have been close friends with my massage therapist since before she became an LMT. She knows me so well, even to knowing how my mannerisms, gait, and job affect my muscles, so her massages are intuitive and amazing... and I pay her well for her amazing skills, not a single dollar less because she's my friend and I expect a deal.)

And that's how I feel about that.

-Ms Black

_________________________
Site
PhotoBlog
Email

Top
#1720 - 04/25/13 05:49 AM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Soapy]
Soapy Offline


Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 433
Loc: USA,USA
Sounds like a situation for a personal judgement call.
_________________________
"Violent opining on a bdsm board has solved surprisingly few geopolitical issues."

- Ms. Regan Black

Top
#1723 - 04/25/13 06:03 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professional [Re: Ms Regan Black]
Rousseau Offline


Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 24
Loc: Babylon
Makes a lot of sense to me...

Top
#1727 - 04/26/13 12:48 AM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Soapy]
incorrigible60 Offline


Registered: 02/21/13
Posts: 20
Loc: Los Angeles
Originally Posted By: Soapy
Is it a bad idea?

....friends are harder to come by.

.... it seems like being friends could enhance the play.

Thoughts?


Thoughts based on direct experience -- A friendship with a pro Domme which started in on-line chatrooms and message boards also became a Domme/client relationship. The friendship endured and strengthened; the play was based on all we knew about each other and how much we cared for each other. It was sometimes joyful, sometimes intense, and more often than not, cathartic for both of us. She is now retired, but we remain friends.

Friendship is the most reliable of d/s relationships from my experience, so now I will session only with Ladies with whom there is mutual respect and affection.

Respectfully submitted,

incorrigible60
_________________________
Will write for spankings

Top
#1728 - 04/27/13 12:08 AM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: incorrigible60]
Étienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
Originally Posted By: incorrigible60
I will session only with Ladies with whom there is mutual respect and affection.

+1

Top
#1733 - 04/27/13 05:49 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Étienne]
trouble Offline


Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 1
Loc: NY
double +1

Top
#1787 - 05/04/13 02:11 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Soapy]
MayaSinstress Offline



Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 305
Loc: Chicago, Il
Great question! But, of course, every situation is relative. I've had some casual friends who became play partners and it has worked out well. The intensity was increased from having a personal relationship. And I've had a few close friends who have wanted to play, but I have declined. Going into it, there is no way to tell if playing together will impact your relationship in a positive or negative way other than by letting your gut instinct lead you. And I would hate to end a friendship because you just don't click with that person play wise.

Miss Maya Sinstress

Top
#1792 - 05/04/13 04:59 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Soapy]
NatalyaSadici Offline


Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 11
Loc: Chicago, Illinois
I really think this depends on the people involved and their dynamic. Are the friends people who see each other from time to time at events, but don't really enjoy things one on one often or at all? Are the friends actually quite close?

I've enjoyed playtime with acquaintances and closer friends. The only reason I agreed to do so was because we communicated well. We've been able to discuss ideas, limits, and discuss if something is not working. There has to be a line drawn between fantasy and reality. I also have to know the friend I'm considering playing with has a firm grasp of this as well.

Top
#1797 - 05/05/13 01:50 PM Re: Playing With Friends Who Are Also Professionals? [Re: Soapy]
Jeeves Offline


Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 86
Loc: London England
Good Question smile

I wouldn't say its a bad idea, but it can make things complicated.
But having said that I think I would rather play with a friend who knows me than a stranger who does not.
If its a good friend, then its nicer playing for fun rather than professionally, but people have to make a living so that's when it can get awkward for both parties.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

September
Su M Tu W Th F Sa
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30
Who's Online
0 registered (), 37 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays

AllStarDoms