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#1971 - 05/30/13 07:13 AM Are experimental masochists frustrating?
Soapy Offline


Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 433
Loc: USA,USA
Would it be frustrating to get a sub who wanted to experiment with heavy pain and who was upfront with the possibility that they might/ might not be able to take much.

Would it be frustrating for a sadist to have to switch gears to something else if a safe word was called or if she decided the sub had more than s/he could handle?
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#2054 - 06/08/13 02:11 AM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Soapy]
Mme Katorga Offline



Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 104
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area - ...
It wouldn't be frustrating for me and I like people who are willing to experiment with their bodies and limits and interests. "It's only pain, and it will subside" laugh


I think if someone can be articulate about the concept of experimenting and the possibility that one may get in over their head, it would be a lot more fun than finding out the hard way. (safe word, they ask for a lot more and hit the wall really fast) Playing with the idea of "let's see how far you can go" is a great theme, particularly between two people who have good chemistry and can be a very exciting roller coaster to ride.

I feel like all of us should be willing to experiment. And the truth of the matter is every day is a little different physiologically - one session a person might be able to take a lot more than the next. It all depends both on the person dishing it out and the person taking it.

I never have trouble switching up, it's part of the process of the time I spend with someone. Sometimes things just don't work as you expect them to, sometimes people have bigger fantasies than they can take in reality, other times it's fun to push something as far as you can take it because the relief in the submissive's eyes and body when doing something else is so enjoyable to see. wink
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#2059 - 06/08/13 12:20 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Mme Katorga]
Soapy Offline


Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 433
Loc: USA,USA
Originally Posted By: Mme Katorga

I think if someone can be articulate about the concept of experimenting and the possibility that one may get in over their head, it would be a lot more fun than finding out the hard way. (safe word, they ask for a lot more and hit the wall really fast) Playing with the idea of "let's see how far you can go" is a great theme, particularly between two people who have good chemistry and can be a very exciting roller coaster to ride.


Cool, so it isn't a total buzzkill if are upfront about not knowing how far you can go.
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"Violent opining on a bdsm board has solved surprisingly few geopolitical issues."

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#2080 - 06/10/13 06:31 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Soapy]
Miss Grey Offline



Registered: 12/11/12
Posts: 96
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area, Califo...
Definitely not. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I love seeing how far I can coax an uncertain submissive to go. Communication and willingness are key.
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#2083 - 06/11/13 12:16 AM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Miss Grey]
Soapy Offline


Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 433
Loc: USA,USA
Okay, so I guess it isn't a total buzzkill if the domme knows ahead of time a safeword is likely to come early.
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"Violent opining on a bdsm board has solved surprisingly few geopolitical issues."

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#2911 - 01/12/14 07:31 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Soapy]
Anna Valentina Offline


Registered: 02/13/13
Posts: 6
Loc: Portland, OR & West Coast
I wouldn't consider it frustrating at all. The key here is communication: clear expectations allow both parties to relax and enjoy the experimentation.

Instead of sadistic release, the pleasure is in the trust that is being placed in me. It's pleasing to know that the bottom is venturing to try something new. That first time is special, raw, and real.

It's also a chance to really slow down and get thorough feedback, as both parties are paying close attention. It's a chance to fiddle with things, to laugh and connect on a personal level. In short, it's a chance to improve a top's agility and a bottom's givingness.

If the bottom discovers a new enjoyment, then hurrah! If not, it's also a chance to stand over the bottom and pompously declare, "Ha! I am the supreme sadist!" (snicker)

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#2912 - 01/12/14 07:33 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Mme Katorga]
Anna Valentina Offline


Registered: 02/13/13
Posts: 6
Loc: Portland, OR & West Coast
Oh, and I love the "let's see how far we can go" aesthetic. Journeying together is exhilarating. smile

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#3174 - 05/08/14 12:46 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Soapy]
Mistress Wynter Offline



Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 414
Loc: New York, NY
Not for me. I actually would be pretty happy that someone wanted to try! In most sessions I switch gears anyway, so I can't imagine being anything but tickled if someone said they wanted to experiment with pain.
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#4508 - 05/18/15 12:31 PM Re: Are experimental masochists frustrating? [Re: Soapy]
MissSpicy Offline


Registered: 03/25/14
Posts: 23
Loc: LA and Paris
You could try finding a SM Slave on Femdoming.com I have had great luck on there finding my slaves
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