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#4424 - 03/22/15 11:43 PM "Personal Slave"
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
If you're a sub, have you ever had a relationship with a pro dom progress from doing sessions to "personal slave" (or whatever moniker you might have used)? What did it mean, as far as how the dynamics between you changed? The kinds of activities you did? How (her) time and (your) tribute and (your) service were exchanged?

I have the same questions for the pro dommes ... have you taken a personal slave, and what does that mean to you?

Thanks for any thoughts!

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#4428 - 03/24/15 07:16 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
…tienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
Yes. Repeatedly. However, the line for me is not very clear in the first place.

My central driving force is the need to please, and there is no amount of tribute that makes me think that job is "done," and so I spend my professional sessions doing my best to please the Lady.

How do the dynamics change?

The biggest change is that more time is spent out of the dungeon than in. The time out of the dungeon is focused more on service than on play, but other than that things don't change so much.

Another way they change is less leather and more bluejeans. :-)

And they change s l o w l y. I don't say, "Wow, that was a great first session, do you need another personal?" It has grown organically. Perhaps I'm allowed to help clean the dungeon after a session. Another time, there might be dinner. Over time, I show that I can be depended on and I actually want her to be happy, not just to achieve some status or privilege for myself.

I don't really sweat the distinction, actually. We do what feels best, and it settles into something that's comfortable.

Things did change a little more when I became life partners with Mistress Ellen; but that's more than just being a "personal" slave.

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#4431 - 03/26/15 01:01 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
Thanks for the response!

For me, the "feel" is definitely different. In a session, no matter how we play-act the scene, ultimately I'm happy or I don't return to spend more $. She's got my Likes list, chances are she's going to hit all the items on it that she has in common with me. The personal slave interaction is completely different -- I'm truly there to please her, and even my psychological has morphed, to the point that there are activities that I hate, but it doesn't matter, because I love pleasing her more than I hate the activity.

Like you, the personal slave interaction has grown organically, except for the very first time, when I broached the topic to see if she'd be willing. But, once we both got a taste, she no longer wishes to session with me, instead preferring the use me as her personal slave at her house instead (I don't see her at the dungeon at all anymore). Which, of course, completely delights me.

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#4432 - 03/27/15 01:16 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
…tienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
Originally Posted By: Hudson
In a session, no matter how we play-act the scene, ultimately I'm happy or I don't return to spend more $. She's got my Likes list, chances are she's going to hit all the items on it that she has in common with me.

I have occasionally had that feeling, of the Lady "touching all the bases" and I agree it's not the best one. I think it helps to see established Ladies who aren't struggling for business. I also stress, over and over, that one of the things I like is *NOT* liking at least some of the experience. :-) Once they know me a little (and that can happen before the first session), they take that seriously and the problem goes away.

Quote:
The personal slave interaction is completely different -- I'm truly there to please her, and even my psychological has morphed, to the point that there are activities that I hate, but it doesn't matter, because I love pleasing her more than I hate the activity.

Why not bring that attitude into a professional session? I've generally had success doing just that.


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#4441 - 03/29/15 11:58 AM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: …tienne]
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
Originally Posted By: …tienne
Originally Posted By: Hudson

The personal slave interaction is completely different -- I'm truly there to please her, and even my psychological has morphed, to the point that there are activities that I hate, but it doesn't matter, because I love pleasing her more than I hate the activity.

Why not bring that attitude into a professional session? I've generally had success doing just that.



Congrats if you can bring that attitude to a session, I can't. The entire short-term transactional nature of it makes it difficult -- maybe impossible -- to get totally into that mindset. Obviously, before my first personal slave experience, I was only sessioning with her, and over a long period of time, had organically shifted towards more of a service mindset. But that took a looong time ... and I think our very first personal slave interaction (I hesitate to call it a "session", there was nothing session-y about it) really is what flipped the bit in my head.

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#4442 - 03/29/15 02:53 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
…tienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
Well, everyone is wired differently.

My therapist always shook her head because I never felt like I was entitled to anything from other people. So maybe this is just Abby Normal on my part.

I'm also very "transactional" about everything. No free lunch and all. That becomes an advantage in a professional setting, because the tribute just seems like a more honest form of the exchanges we all make all the time, rather than the Magic Tainted Talisman that so many boys (not you, but many) seem to find it.

I wonder, though--have you been to another professional since becoming a personal? The latter experience may inform the former.

(Enjoying this discussion, BTW.)

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#4443 - 03/29/15 09:24 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
I think you're right about "the latter experience informing the former". While I still find a session transactional, I think it will be far less time and effort to adopt a more service-oriented mindset. The slide has been lubricated, as it were

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#4497 - 05/15/15 05:23 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
kickable Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 40
Loc: Daytona Beach, Florida
My thoughts are this. In a professional session you are buying a service. Some pro-Dommes on the board might criticize me for this view. However, the session is a short-term commitment for money. Some Dommes say in their promotions that the session will be what she wants -- and it can be -- but it must also be what the sub wants if she desires return business. My fetish is ball-kicking. If I go to a session and don't get kicked in the balls, I'm not coming back.

A personal slave lives to fulfill the Domme's needs. Most of the time these needs will likely not include scene play, in my view, unless she needs someone to make a video or do a live performance. Because it's personal, she will know your desires, but it will be totally up to her whether or not to fulfill your desires. Clean the house. Do the lawn. Run errands. Do the marketing. Cook. Get on your knees and like it.
_________________________
Single sub male devoted to Female power. Wide variety of interests and open attitude in the scene. In vanilla life an educated hard worker with a wide variety of interests including playing guitar.

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#4499 - 05/18/15 11:55 AM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
MissSpicy Offline


Registered: 03/25/14
Posts: 23
Loc: LA and Paris
Yes you are exactly right!! I find my slaves on Femdoming.com they completely understand how its supposed to work! FLR are the way to go!!

Miss Spicy
_________________________
miss Spicy

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#4520 - 05/27/15 11:07 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: MissSpicy]
kickable Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 40
Loc: Daytona Beach, Florida
My guess is the person posting as Miss Spicy is shilling for a Femme Domme dating web site.
_________________________
Single sub male devoted to Female power. Wide variety of interests and open attitude in the scene. In vanilla life an educated hard worker with a wide variety of interests including playing guitar.

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#4525 - 05/29/15 01:35 AM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: kickable]
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
Originally Posted By: kickable
My thoughts are this. In a professional session you are buying a service. Some pro-Dommes on the board might criticize me for this view. However, the session is a short-term commitment for money. Some Dommes say in their promotions that the session will be what she wants -- and it can be -- but it must also be what the sub wants if she desires return business. My fetish is ball-kicking. If I go to a session and don't get kicked in the balls, I'm not coming back.

A personal slave lives to fulfill the Domme's needs.


Definitely agree with all that. In a nutshell, session is ultimately about me, personal is ultimately about pleasing her.

Quote:
Most of the time these needs will likely not include scene play, in my view, unless she needs someone to make a video or do a live performance. Because it's personal, she will know your desires, but it will be totally up to her whether or not to fulfill your desires. Clean the house. Do the lawn. Run errands. Do the marketing. Cook. Get on your knees and like it.


That's where my experience has been really different than your description. It is absolutely the case that our relationship is built on me pleasing her, with no expectation or entitlement to play time. That said, we have a lot of playtime/scene-play/etc., it's more intimate than typical scene/session play time, and it occurs not just by itself, but often weaved throughout many of our other interactions.

So, why is that? Why are we having this incredible scene play, even though we both agree our relationship is about me pleasing her, being attentive to her needs, making her life better and easier, truly devoting myself to her happiness, and that the only pleasure I'm allowed to expect is any pleasure I derive from performing my service to her? I think it's because, when she chose me as her personal slave (her first ever!), she did it because she already liked me, and spending so much time together, we now like each other even more. She loves playing with me for her own enjoyment, and it also clearly pleases her to please me.

Obviously every mistress and her personal slave have to figure out what dynamics work for them. But since I posted the original question, I've spoken to a decent number of slaves and mistresses, and the situation I describe seems pretty common.

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#4606 - 06/09/15 04:40 AM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: kickable]
Mistress Jadis Offline



Registered: 11/07/12
Posts: 147
Loc: Sydney, Australia
She's been banned. Every post was obvious shilling.
_________________________
"I believe, the sting....proves heart..to me"

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#5243 - 03/16/17 08:48 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
maximumgummi Offline


Registered: 11/23/16
Posts: 1
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area
Hello,

I realize this is an old thread, and these boards don't look particularly active, but I thought I would ask a question. Perhaps there will be someone to reply? In most situations, if a client becomes a personal slave of a pro dom, are there still professional sessions like before? I really enjoy professional sessions, and being able to request certain activities and fantasies, and I can't imagine giving that up. I suppose in my ideal scenario we would continue to have professional sessions, but also spend time together elsewhere, going on dates and doing fun things outside the dungeon, so to speak. I find having some mystery in professional sessions to be exciting. If I got to know a prodom outside of professional sessions, would that take away some of the mystery and detract from future pro sessions? A lot to think about!

mg

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#5248 - 03/20/17 12:19 AM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: maximumgummi]
Ms Regan Black Offline
www.MsReganBlack.com


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 819
Loc: New York City / Buffalo

Hi, mg-

Every personal relationship is different.
Some are closer, some not.
It's really how the Domme feels comfortable and wants to do it, along with how it works for you.

Regards
-Ms Black
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#5261 - 03/22/17 05:45 PM Re: "Personal Slave" [Re: Hudson]
Hudson Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 31
Loc: San Jose, CA, USA
mg,

I think the nice thing here is, there's no "personal slave rulebook" you have to follow smile If it works to also do sessions, I don't know why not. Even with my mistress, I have to imagine that if I said, "on top of everything I do for you, I'd also like to pay you $300 for a session", I don't see why she'd say no.

That said, I think you have one thing wrong. "Being able to request certain activities and fantasies"... I still do that ALL THE TIME. My mistress likes me -- hell, I"d say she adores me -- and she loves pleasing me for pleasing her. The difference, perhaps, is that with a session, if I ask her to do activity X, and that activity is within her limits, I pretty much know it will happen in session. AS her personal slave, I don't necessarily know when or if it will happen -- she might dangle it as a possible rewards for days or weeks of incredible service, she might tuck it away in her memory and pull it out whenever, she might do it RIGHT THERE AND THEN or later that night, she might make me earn with specific tasks... or, of course, she might not do it. Whatever serves her needs and amuses her (again, remembering that she likes me, and pleasing me sometimes serves her needs). There is something about having a lack of precise control over this, that makes it so much more amazing when (if) it DOES happen, than the same activity in session, that I'm not at all interested in arranging a session for that.

But really, the point is: of course you can still ask for things (if that's how your personal service manifests itself)... you just give up control as to when/how/whether they happen.


Edited by Hudson (03/22/17 05:47 PM)

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