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#1314 - 03/16/13 07:38 PM Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin?
Étienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
I used to be very shy about suggesting scenarios to the Ladies in my life, because I didn't want to be controlling what happened. I've lately gotten past that, and have been pulling more of my weight when it comes to thinking of ideas for play.

It occurs to me that this is a rather sadistic activity. I am, after all, helping to design my own torture. Some have said that suicide is rage turned inward; is masochism sadism turned inward?

My interactions with sadistic Ladies lead me to believe that sadism is not masochism turned outward, but I have seen enough bottoms be quite sadistic that I have to wonder about the other direction.

Thoughts?

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#1335 - 03/18/13 12:06 PM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: Étienne]
Pat Annon Offline


Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 38
Loc: Chicago,IL
I have never been enthusiastic about the heuristic value of binary oppositions in understanding human social interactions. It occurs to me that sadism and masochiism are not oppositions (two sides of a coin) but instead two different human impules (fantasies, obsessions, identities, whatever) linked by the activity, not the nature of the impulse. That is, linked as the handle is to the lash, without confusion, but individually purposeful.

Does she have to be sadistic or dominant for you to enjoy (fantasize or engage) in pain? The intimacy of the the experience of pain, fear, and endorphin rush is linked, IMHO, to a wider sexualized human experience that includes (does not exclude) sadistic impulses.

Peace,
Pat

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#1338 - 03/18/13 07:22 PM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: Étienne]
Étienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
You know, there is an old joke; there are two kinds of people in the world, those who use binary oppositional heuristics and those who don't... :-)

Quote:
Does she have to be sadistic or dominant for you to enjoy (fantasize or engage) in pain?

Having had the experience of pain from a non-sadistic top, I would say it is at best a very poor substitute. Some service tops get it well enough to make the experience worthwhile, but it's nothing like someone who loves dishing out pain.

And what do you see as the qualitative differences between sadism and masochism, if they are not simply inverted, in your view?

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#1513 - 03/30/13 08:28 AM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: Étienne]
Pat Annon Offline


Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 38
Loc: Chicago,IL
OK - I think it was Claude LeviStraus who suggested oppositions are built into the structure of our brains creating a deep archetecture of perception. The raw and the cooked, the pierced and the one who pierces, these apparent oppositions also then to privilege one over the other, active passive, up the down, north south. It is all in our mind.

A masochist finds sexualized pleaasure in experiencing intentionally inflicted painful even stimulai, whether phisical, emotional, social or mental. The sadist finds sexualized pleasure in another's experience. The only thing these two have in common is sexualized pain. Coming together they can create something more than simply puzzle pieces fitting together.

They are not opposites creating nothing when mixed, they are ingredients, like soda and vinegar, that leaven life.

Peace,
Pat

PS, forgive the misspellings, this was composed on a phone. ;-)

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#1514 - 03/30/13 09:14 AM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: Étienne]
Étienne Offline


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 250
Loc: San Diego, CA
I'm still not seeing what it is you think is more than opposite about sadism and masochism. I'm perfectly willing to believe they are different, but I'm interested in how they might be different, in your view.

As for soda and vinegar, well, that's an interesting example. The real fun comes from oppositely charged ions, H+ and OH-. Similar things occur with H+ and SH-, but not so powerfully. And there we have both sides of the question. :-) (BTW, now we could discuss who is acid and who is base...)

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#4512 - 05/18/15 12:38 PM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: Étienne]
MissSpicy Offline


Registered: 03/25/14
Posts: 23
Loc: LA and Paris
Why don't you try a real mistress?? You can go to femdoming.com and find your ideal mistress who will create the games for you!
_________________________
miss Spicy

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#4685 - 09/16/15 12:43 AM Re: Are sadism and masochism two sides of one coin? [Re: MissSpicy]
Mistress Wynter Offline



Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 414
Loc: New York, NY
He has a real Mistress. wink
_________________________
Mistress Wynter
www.mswynter.com
http://www.clips4sale.com/store/62777

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